Is it time you learnt to sit with the good?

Is it time you learnt to sit with the good?

One of the hardest things I found in my recovery journey was becoming comfortable with the experiences of the child sexual abuse I survived.

Alongside the other childhood traumas which had a massive impact on creating my gateways to addiction. 

That hasn’t been an easy process. 

But there has also been another process which has been especially difficult which we don’t think of, or I hadn't given it much thought.

Until I sat back and forced myself to pause for a moment and reflect. 

I am realising that although I have had to learn to sit with the experiences of my past I need also to learn to sit with the good in my life. 

My feelings of having a low self-worth which stemmed from my childhood traumas had created this barrier.

child sexual abuse survivor

A barrier which stopped me from allowing myself to accept the positives or good within my life. 

This would often lead to pushing the self-destruct button and pull me back into the cycle of addiction. 

I never understood it, didn’t give it much thought and felt that I needed to work Soley on overcoming the negative impact of those experiences I survived. 

But overcoming those experiences and building a positive foundation for my future really is done by recognising there are two pathways running alongside each other here.

In overcoming the bad I must also take time to acknowledge more of the good in my world today. 

Accept it, sit with it and experience it. 

Hang onto the good feelings which arise and in doing so I can carry them with me for longer and the negative train of thought which would cause low feelings of self-worth becomes quieter. 

I can feel proud and I can feel as though I deserve to be happy and I deserve to be free! 

When I think about this, I do feel uneasy, but just as I learnt to sit with the experiences of my past...

I am going to begin working more on sitting with the good, the positives that are in my life today! 

I recognise within myself that change, growth and progression are not only possible but they are a massive part of my daily life. 

i am worthy

I do not need to fear this and I am worthy. 

I worked very hard on my self compassion, positive self-talk and making the sacrifices I need to in order for me to grow and recover from my addictions. 

But this did not stop the flashbacks to my childhood and the pain which would arise from that, but through talking in a safe space I did find a way forward where I can cope with these. 

So today I am making a new commitment to myself, that may sound a little strange to you but it makes total sense to me. 

I acknowledge that I do not feel ashamed of myself today, I do not fear the judgements of others and I am not afraid to use my voice.

Through using my voice, I have actually been able to use my experiences to help others and demonstrate to those who feel silenced that they are not alone. 

feel good

Today I will commit to learning to sit with the good.

This is the way the two parallel roads can come together and form the direction towards the destination of a journey which is not fragmented but instead becomes whole. 

If you are a survivor, if you are someone struggling with an addiction. Is it time that you learnt to sit with the good? 

I know it may not be easy... 

But you are worth it! 

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