Gone but not forgotten...
My best friend , I met her when I was 9 she was 8 .
We grew up together drifted apart in our early 20’s then found each other again.
She’d had a hard time a really hard time - her stepfather has sexually abused her when she was a kid , and she suffered terribly because of it.
When we got back in touch she was a divorced single mum raising two small children.
We done everything together , shopping , sitting at home just watching tv , nights out holidays , parties family gatherings we were inseperable.
I watched her blossom and grow doing all sorts of jobs when the kids were small to progressing to be a counsellor in a school and dedicating her life to children with learning difficulties or emotional issues.
She was my rock alongside everyone else - her door was always open Along with her arms.
She found love again and remarried a wonderful man and I truly believed she was sorted.
Yes we had a drink , socially on a girls night out or a girls night in but I just never knew.
The only time she ever spoke to me about it her drinking was about 12 years ago she said I’m drinking every night I need to knock in on the head.
About 3 years ago she started getting really demanding Ringing me up crying all the time yet with no real indication she had a problem.
I’m sorry to say I turned my back on her a bit as you do ( never knowing she had a drink problem ).
We used to see each other socially but I still didn’t recognise her as an alcoholic.
She had a wonderful life , held down a full time job , looked after her children and husband and had many holidays .
The last time I saw her well was September of 2020 and again had no indication of her alcoholism .
Fast forward to June this year I got a phone call off a friend telling me she was an alcoholic and had been given months to live .
She had told me she’d been in hospital for a hernia yet it wasn’t it was her body telling her to stop .
When I found out the girl id know and loved for 40 years was an alcoholic I was shocked and stunned never ever had I ever known .
She tried to get help but because of covid there was no support - she’d go into hospital get medically better then discharged without any after care .
She was given no medical Intervention from her Gp or the hospital to help with her withdrawals so she continued to drink .
She has gone yellow , she was thin, and physically shook until she could get her fix.
She went into hospital and lost her fight in August this year .
Her family told me it was her secret she didn’t want anyone to know the only people that did was her children and her husband (estranged ) .
She became a liar , a manipulator someone I didn’t know .
She didn’t get any help from anyone apart from her family and friends .
To keep her in hospital towards the end of her life when she was incontinent and unable to walk her sister had to get the local mp involved , the hospital just wanted to send her home with no care package in place .
Personally I feel people don’t care anymore , if your an addict your just an addict.
She was so much more than that - I want people to know seeing her pass was the most traumatic thing I’ve ever seen .
Please don’t be another statistic , please get help and if you can’t get someone to shout with you till you get it .
My incredible , strong beautiful amazing friend was taken too soon cause she didn’t seek help until it was too late .
I’m writing this to share how addiction can impact on just one persons life - and how I only wish she’d of let us help her .
Please it’s never too late ,don’t be like my friend get help you deserve it xxxxx
**Thank you so much for sharing this with us Amanda and I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. One loss sadly is too many in my eyes. thoughts and prayers are with you, thank you**
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